BY JEANNELAUREE | MAY 7, 2010 · 6:10 PM

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Praise and the pity pot

“To attract something that you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.” —  Martha Beck

”What you appreciate, appreciates!”       –Jenn Kuhlmann, Yoga Instructor Extraordinaire

I happened to have several experiences recently that drove home the value of a gratitude attitude.  When I was traveling the world conducting seminars, I used the phrase gratitude attitude in several of the modules that I taught.  In fact, in my narcissistic little world, I actually thought I had coined the phrase! No matter, it got used and shared and circulated and I was blessed for speaking those words on a regular basis.

Today, I am much more likely to apply the same concept when working with my AA Sponsor or the women I sponsor in AA.  Making a gratitude list has been a bad-day-buster from the beginning.    Whenever I had “ring around the butt” from sitting on the pity-pot, counting my blessings was the best remedy. I grew up singing a hymn with the words: “Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessings, see what God has done.”

There is so much talk about manifesting and the secret of The Secret, that it’s easy to forget that W. Clement Stone, Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill have been sharing those secrets for decades.  (In fact, the UTube  videos of Napoleon Hill are riveting, as he talks about the freedom, joy and wealth that comes from directing one’s thought process.  And, the misery, fear and financial insecurity that is produced when you don’t.)

“The Prayer of Jabez” is one of my favorite little gifts to give at this time of year for commencement gifts.  It introduces the Spiritual aspect of manifesting in partnership with God.  This is a concept that has enriched my life for decades.  In it, the principle of a tithe takes on deeper meaning.    I grew up in a household that “paid tithing” as a part of the religious discipline.  Even the words are telling.  The implication that it is something PAID, like a bill or a parking ticket, was inherent in the feeling attached to the act.  It was approached with fear and trepidation—no joy, nowhere.   As I matured, in years and philosophy, so did my approach to tithing.  It moved from meaningless duty, to religious practice.  Then, when I deepened my spiritual journey through the practice of the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I could see that my concept of money was way outta whack!  I was “in lust” with money and the things I could buy and the artificial feelings of worth that were produced in the environment of  bigger, better and more, more, more.

When my practice of sober living took me to the place where I turned my life and will over to the care of God, as I understood Him, I truly “had a new boss”.  I had a partnership with a God who cared for me personally in a way that, even to this day, leaves me breathless.  I had a new boss, God, who would never fire me, never fail me and never tells me “no”.  His response to me has consistently been, either, “Yes”, “not now”, or “I’ve got something better for you”.   Time and again, I’ve put it to the test.  If the criteria of a scientific test is reproducibility,  then, I’ve proven this axiom.  Living life from this context leaves me free to take chances, respond to promptings and make mistakes without lingering over them.  When God is on my side, there is all the creative juice I need to turn lemons into lemon aide, without hesitation.    And, all of the above is the basis for a life lived with a gratitude attitude.

My brother, who died in addiction, gave me a treasured book called “From Prison to Praise” ( Merlin Carothers).  The message was to “praise God” at every turn;  it’s raining—Praise God.  There’s a hole in the roof—Praise God.  I can’t balance the checkbook this month—Praise God!  I know it sounds like the most blatant form of useless positive thinking, much like standing in front of a mirror and saying, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better, a darn it, people like me!”  But, it’s bigger and different than that.    When I began to partner with a God, who cherishes me as his child, giving praise and expressing gratitude was a natural extension of my personal relationship with Him.

I came across the most delicious butter-yellow suede chair at a resale shop.  It would go perfectly in the small room I used for a bedroom.  I had put all of my furniture in storage and moved into the trailer house my parents owned, to care for my Mother while she was dying.  It was a time filled with intensity, stress and sorrow.  I was not in a position to buy the chair at the full retail price, so to find it, in perfect condition, at such a low figure, made it possible for me to buy it.  My sister helped me bring it home in her van, her husband  worked for a couple of hours to get it in the room (a door had to come off the hinges, legs had to come off the chair—everything reassembled, after).  And at the end of the night, after everyone had gone home and I stood back and looked at that cheerful, soft, yummy, lemon chiffon suede chair in front of the window in my room, I burst into tears and dropped to my knees and, from the deepest part of my heart thanked God.  Thanked Him for knowing the sadness in my heart, the pressure of wanting to do the right thing for my parents—and being so scared that I wouldn’t.  Thanked Him, Praised Him and rejoiced in His hand in my life.   Praise God, count your blessings, put it to the test.

There are those who would say, all of this was just coincidence.  I prefer to apply Einstein’s theory,( not E=M C Squared) but his theory, “Either everything is God, or nothing.”  I too, prefer to act as if it’s EVERYTHING!

P.S. The quote by Jenn Kuhlmann is particularly dear, because she is my oldest daughter..

Your friend in the journey to achieve a Fearless Mind and live a life of gratitude.

Jeanne Lauree Olsen