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    Grief 1.0, The Gift

    Tonight was the first class of an eight week series of bereavement meetings.  The company I work for makes them available to families of our hospice patients, and, anyone in the Salt Lake Valley who is grieving the loss of a loved one. This is the fourth series of eight week get-togethers.  I’m reluctant to call them classes, because that insinuates that something is being taught.  There is a format, handouts for each week, and assignments such as journaling or activities for self-care.  It’s just that to call this a class somehow diminishes the alchemy of what takes place each week.  The classes have been small, less than 10 participants. …

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    Unmet Expectations & Upsets

    The universe has a way of putting an idea or concept in front of me over and over until I finally get it. This week, it was about unmet expectations and upsets. The discussion started for me as I was driving to an appointment in rush-hour traffic, and the driver to my right would not allow me to merge in front of him and I missed my exit.  I stayed mad at a total stranger for over an hour and a half.  As I was complaining to my friend Susie, I had an aha moment; I was upset because I expected someone to behave a certain way and they did…

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    Write Your Own Obituary–Change Your Life

    As a hospice chaplain, I have assisted hundreds of families with the process of writing an obituary.  Most mortuaries will provide surviving family members with obituary formats that consist of a simple fill in the blanks template that produces a perfectly acceptable result.  If all you want is the basic generic version, it can be easily achieved. The challenge comes from producing a life sketch that is engaging, and still supplies the necessary basic information.  I have a few favorites. There was the obituary where the patient who died ended up with three obituaries; one by the first wife, one by the second wife, and one written by the kids!…

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    Breathtaking Soul

    Tara Starling January 7 at 9:34 PM My momma always told me that it was better to be kind than to be pretty. For many years, I didn’t believe her, because I bought into the lies of the #beautymyth hook, line, and sinkHER… I believed that if my skin wasn’t perfect enough, my body wasn’t thin enough, and my makeup wasn’t flawless enough, then I would never be found worthy of love (sound familiar to anyone?) These ugly lies about beauty almost killed me. Literally. And the collateral damage they left in their wake was devastating. Eating disorders. Failed marriages. Mental breakdown. Suicidal ideation. Financial collapse. Spiritual bankruptcy. I believed that who…